I started this post a couple of times. I started out complaining, trying to make sense of the bad parts of the year. Got annoyed, so I tried to spin it positive. Made a timeline and a bunch of lists of the most pivotal moments. Both posts were deleted. They felt fake, they didn’t feel like me.
It boils down to: I fucked up this year, but I still changed a lot so it’s not all gone to shit.
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For the first few days after the abortion I was feeling pretty fine. Mild cramping, sometimes I didn’t feel any pain at all. I was bleeding regularly and was using thick pads for two weeks.
Almost a week after, however, I started getting really bad cramps. I would lay in bed and pills, heatpacks, massages didn’t help. I was taking 800 mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours.Read More »
For a few weeks I was feeling really emotional, my boobs were sore, I was nauseous constantly throughout the day, couldn’t drink coffee anymore. I missed my period. I joked with my sister that every period I miss I get scared that I’m pregnant until I start bleeding a few days later. This time I was in denial, but I had a nagging feeling that I should get a pregnancy test.Read More »
It’s June, many months have passed and many milestones acquired.
I have officially become Hot Mess. No amount of inspirational quotes can get someone out of this mess. It’s face head on, deal with shit, and move on, be better, be who you want to be.
In an attempt to make this happen, once again getting rid of facebook, shedding people who aren’t cool, trying to focus on getting myself to a place I can be proud of.
January 2017 started off fucked up.
- The days I wasn’t scheduled for work, I would wake up between 2-4pm.
- I got drunk a lot
- I didn’t want to talk or see my friends
- Freaked out about job and career prospects as a recent graduate
- Left all social media. Kept gaining more and more weight amidst…
- …attempts to start eating healthy (cooking!) and
- Exercising (running) at least 30 mins
- Went to the doctors because I finally had Health Insurance
- Completed Jury Duty for the first time
- Updated resume, started to join The Job Market again
Everyone got a little sick and had to go to the hospital. First the cat, then my mom, then my sister. 2017 doesn’t promise to be a smooth year for anyone.
Still haven’t filmed or written anything, or really done much towards my Major Goals but for now it’s
February 2017, and I’m focusing on accomplishing 1 small thing a day, which they say is good for mental health. In light of that, “lastupdatedon” takes the stress off regular postings.
Until next time.